The Beauty in Perspective.

       Taking in the beauty of things. Have you ever noticed the small things you seem to pass up everyday? Nowadays we're all so consumed with our daily routines, fast-paced life, and social media that we forget the small things we leave behind without a second glance. How about that small picture frame that rests beside your bed? Why is it there? Normally one would say it's because it reminds you of something or someone that makes you happy. Or how about the beauty of the nature outside? Do you ever sit outside and listen to the rustling leaves in the fall, crunch of snow in the winter, or the sounds of a lawn mower in the Spring? If your anything like me, the answer would be no.
        But what if we did? What if we took the time to take in the beauty of the small things? See, thats the thing I fear most about life on this Earth. I fear I will miss out on the small beautiful things and focus too much on materialistic things. I keep thinking how I'll miss the precious moments of my children because I'm too busy trying to capture the moment. Maybe its better to just BE in the moment, than to capture it. I'm not ranting to you, instead I'm trying to point out something so many of us do in life. We overlook the beautiful things and take life on this Earth for granted.
       In High School, we had a pastor come and share a sermon on a perspective. As we were all listening intently to this energetic pastor, he held up a blue marker and said, "this is your life." Now, like any other person in the room, we were confused-- how could a marker possibly signify our life? But I listened intently. He then went on to explain how God sees our life in all time zones: past, present, and future. However, we only see our life head on, but we don't see the entire thing in one view. Rather, we only see the past and present. He told us that God knows our path and that we just need to trust Him in all that we do and He will guide us down the right path in life. I think one of the lessons I got out of that sermon was that if we focus too much on the past or future, we miss the present. So how about being too focused on materialistic things? Will we miss the present time of our lives?
        Don't get me wrong, I'm not exactly the most religious person ever. I don't condemn people for who they are, and I'm not saying you should all believe what I do. However, I felt this analogy could be used as a tool for your very own life.  I think life is not only about our perspectives but also what we make of it. Viewing life in a "beauty" perspective and focusing on the small things is something I am hoping so many of us in this world try. You see, I don't want to miss the special moments in my life. I want to focus on my present and not let the future or past distract me. Having goals and dreams for the future is okay of course, but focusing too much on things out of your control will only distract you from your current situations. I don't know about you, but I want to be there for my future generations to share those small joyous moments. Even though God Himself may be the only one to truly know exactly my destiny in life, I do know one thing for sure: I'm taking in the beauties of this world before its too late.

Fear of the Possible.

Sometimes I stay up late at night wondering to myself, "What If." What if I were to pursue everything  I ever dreamed of? What if I failed? What if I end up working a job that will never allow me to pay off my student loans? What if I never find another romantic partner? If you're anything like me, these questions bounce around in my brain on a daily basis. However, today I write to all of you out there with a dream and a book full of "what if's." To those of you who are in this situation (I speak to myself also), I encourage you all to go follow your dreams. No matter how big they are, you should reach for the stars, and remember that the sky is your only limit. This may seem cliche, but its true. Stop being afraid of the future, and failure. If there's one thing I learned while being at college so far, its that there's always another way. If you fail, take a step back and evaluate the situation and try again. There's no right or wrong answer to your life. It's YOURS, and you're in control. To my "what if" fellow friends, I encourage each one of us to take control of our own fears and turn it into energy to go after what we really want in life. For those who have their life together, I encourage you to share with others your accomplishments. Stop letting other peoples opinions block your own happiness and dreams. Go after it. I mean, you've only got about 60-80 years anyways. Make those years count, and NEVER stop dreaming.

The Brick Wall of Religion.

Hey there. Lately, I have been finally feeling a sense of belonging here on my campus. There is nothing I love more than spending nights laughing, eating pizza, and watching movies with my new friends here. However, there has been a lot going through my mind lately. Not only have I been pressured to do certain things, I have also been tested with my faith. The disappointing thing is that I don't know enough apologetics to have a firm stand, and that makes me question my own self sometimes. To be able to say that I believe in Jesus Christ, but am not able to explain much into it with evidence or answer deeper questions is beyond disappointing. I have taken classes in Apologetics and Hermeneutics while in High School, but I never took them seriously and failed to recognize their value. Now that I am college, I wish I could answer some of my friends' questions or share with people what I've found about Christ or how He has shaped my life today.
     Being on a large, public college campus, there are so many religions, cultures, identities, etc., that the list never ends. However, concerning religion and belief systems, the face of Christianity doesn't have a good look. For those of you unaware, there are constant street preachers claiming to be Christian. They stand on the corners of our campus, yelling and condemning others for not accepting Christ. Then while in class today, one of my professors decided to provide some comments about the situation as if it were a joke. It is unfortunate that Christians are seen this way by the world; as if we are nothing but condemning hypocrites. It's also sad to see how much of an impact street hypocrites are making in the lives of those who have never heard the Gospel. I am tired of not being able to have answers (for those around me) to things I have already been taught. It is hard to sit in silence when someone decides to ridicule my faith. In those situations, I always hear, "choose your battles wisely" ringing in the back of my head.  As I look around myself, I have begun to realize that more than half of the people I study or associate with outside of class aren't Christian. A large majority here are either agnostic or atheist. And lately, I have taken the backseat to see the positions and different aspects of the world they are coming from. I hope that if my words can't lead people to Christ, it will be my daily actions that do. Goodnight.

Looking Forward, Not backward.

Hey friends!
     I know I haven't been on here much lately! I just wanted to give a life re-cap and then discuss the topic for today. First of all, I would like to say that college is amazing. I've only been here for two months and I can already tell you that it's been the best 60 days of my life. I am continually learning new things about not only myself, but also other people around me. I love being independent, out on my own, and growing in myself. What a blessing it is to call this place my new home and have such amazing new friends. High School was fun, but I am glad to have moved onto the next chapter of my life.

Todays topic of discussion is growing in yourself and looking forward.

Lately I have been thinking about my life on a deeper level. Midterms have been probably the biggest disappointment ever. Not having things go exactly how you expected them to is hard to accept. However, I personally, have been training myself to just keep looking forward. You see, thats what I think so many of us struggle with. I think that we should all try to evaluate our lives at some time, change a few things for the better, and keep moving. This concept isn't limited to just school, relationships, or even with your best friends. Knowing how to keep striving and being positive can increase our well-being. It can make us better people in the long run, with a burning reason to just keep seeking the best. For example, when I got a low grade on an exam, I decided to take it as a way for me to find new ways of studying and learning that I've never thought of before. Although it is hard to except the fact that I am struggling in some areas of my life, I have chosen to keep moving with what I was given by improving my mistakes. If all else fails, I keep my eyes on my goals and purpose in life. The only way we will truly grow is to fail a few times, pick up the broken pieces, and then mold them back together to be even better/stronger. This sense of looking forward in life will increase our happiness and ability to see growth in our daily lives. So whether or not what I  wrote to you made sense or not, I just want you to remember this: Are you looking back, when you should be looking forward? Just promise me you will never let the past negatively impact your future success.

Is He Real?

My purpose for this blog is not to make only spiritual/religion based posts, but to share about my own personal life. However, today I'm feeling the sudden urge to talk about Jesus Christ. In particular, I have a question for all: Is Jesus real?

I have battled with this simple three worded sentence for a long time, and still to this day. Although, I just realized something different. What if this phrase is asking if 'Jesus is real to us in our own lives', rather than asking if He is/was physically real? Many of us go to church every Sunday (not going to lie, I haven't gone in forever), bible study groups, and pray to the Lord every night and day. Even though so many Christians do these daily routines (including myself), can we go on and grow spiritually without having Jesus be real to us? I think theres a point where we have to realize that Jesus is real in our own lives, and thats when we can allow Him into our daily routines and relationships. For myself, I know I'm in the process of finding Jesus and I'm not sure where I stand. However, I do know who He is, what He's done, and most of the main Bible stories. But He hasn't become real to me in my own life. I hear of Him in my peers' lives, but not in my own. I wait for Him to do something that will be something I can finally respond to by saying, "Jesus must be real because...(fill in the blank)." For a long time I have not been listening to what God has been telling me, and I've lost sight of Him. I'm not telling you that I've suddenly found my way tonight, because I'm still lost in the sea of life. However, I think tonight marks a time when God showed me that He wants to be a reality in my own life. Not someone I pull out of a box (only) in times of trouble, but someone who stands by my side every day, no matter what the circumstance. He's different from anyone in this world because He takes my hand...and never lets go. God is becoming REAL in my life, and I'm glad I could share it with the world today.

Be You, and Only You.

BE YOU. I feel like this is a phrase that we all hear on a constant daily basis. However, I think it's something that all of us (particularly women) still struggle with. I know a lot of us also hear about how we're all beautiful (for believers: in Gods image) and that we don't need any of the societal ideas of "perfect" to destroy our beauty. But let me ask you this, what do you see when you look in the mirror?...

Do you see the beautiful creature handmade by a creator who designed every single inch and millimeter of your being? Or do you see all the things that could possibly be fixed, moved around, or hidden so that we can achieve the so called, "social norm" of covering our flaws? I'm not saying that wearing make-up is God-forbidden, because lets get real, I wear make-up everyday because I enjoy it. It's part of my daily routine. But I'm asking you all to think about why and what your covering up. For what reasons. Just remember that you're ALL beautiful, every single inch of your being has been perfectly made (Yes, even that stretch mark too). To all the single women out there, just know that your prince charming should love you for who you are, and you should NEVER have to change your body image for a partner. Just be the flawed self that you are because thats what makes you not only unique, but also a princess with beauty. You are beautiful, perfect, and wonderfully made. You are a Jewel. Value yourself ladies, and see the beauty bestowed in yourself.

Leaving the Past in the Past.

Have you ever caught yourself dwelling on what happened a few days, weeks, or even a month ago? How you could've avoided something, or how you regret your previous choice? Well I've personally had this happen to me plenty of times. The only question is...how do we avoid this doubt and fear of the past decisions in our lives? Is it even possible to forget the past? Thats the thing...It will never be possible to forget what happened to us, but we do have the capability to take it and leave it where it ended. Don't pick up what was already broken. If you made the wrong decision yesterday, start today off on a better note and make the right decision today. You don't have power over yesterday because it's already over; but you do have power over the today and the "now." Now is your time to start new and leave the past behind you and Achieve YOUR Dreams without the brokenness of yesterday.

         

         

Acceptance in Our Daily Lives

Today. If I could possibly sum up my day to you in just one word I would define it as marvelous. It was such a fantastic day here in Madison. I got to meet some more peers in my program and explore the city zoo. I have a big day for tomorrow with many errands to run, but I've been feeling the sudden urge to just blog and get my thoughts out there. I truly hope that the words I'm writing/have written will be a blessing to everyone who reads it. It's my goal to not only share my life with you all, but also to make an impact in other lives. Whether that be by you just simply reading what I have to say, then so be it.

Anyways, the topic for today is acceptance. Once again, I'm not exactly sure why I chose this one, but its just been on my heart. Everyone truly wants to be accepted by at least one person in their life. While here at college, my first weekend has been the constant cycle of everyone trying to find their home and some sort of "acceptance" with their new friends. College is cool because absolutely no one knows who you used to be, so you can finally come on a clean slate to start your life back over again. Personally, I think the best way to be accepted is to just be yourself. It may seem silly for me to say this, but you'd be surprised how many people I've ran into that seem to be in this situation. Being yourself should always be the number one priority, and eventually, your true friends will come too. I'm going to be completely honest and say that coming from a religious high school previously, its been different for me to just accept everyone. Just because you accept someone for who they are, doesn't mean you have to agree with it. There's a difference there folks. Accepting and agreeing. Also, this is a little off topic but I feel the need to touch on the fact that you can't help someone who doesn't want to be helped. Just never forget that. We will all eventually impact someone's life during our time here on Earth, whether they accept us or not. The only lingering questions are, "who and when?" Well thats the thing...how about now? Start being the light in the darkness, accept others, and be that impact. Spread like wildfire and never stop believing in YOU.

         

                               

Clarity in the Scientific Field of Love.

Well, the day has come in which stands the last day my entire family is sound asleep and I'm still living here under the same roof. I'm going to miss being at home with my family more than anything. If anyone doesn't know me on a personal level, you should know that I am a very emotional person. I care a lot for people, and I would probably cross the ocean for someone I love.


Speaking of which, today I felt the sudden desire to expound on the magnificent topic of love. Earlier in my postings I mentioned that I wasn't quite sure if I even believed in love in the first place. I'm not exactly sure why, but suddenly I've began to realize what love is to me. Love is going the extra mile just to see that other person happy, even if it means you suffer. Love is putting your selfish needs aside and caring for others. It never envies or boasts. However, so often, our own generation uses this powerful word without realizing what it actually means. Personally I think thats why I wasn't sure if love existed. I didn't think it existed because someone in my life had failed me, shortly after they told me how deep their love for me was. Love doesn't give up. It's powerful and can break even the most strong beings in this world. I truly believe its the one thing our hearts truly yearn for in life. Wherever any of you find love is completely your own decision, but just know this: love is all of these things I have mentioned, and more. I hope as this day concludes, that everyone in this world (including you) finds someone to experience true love with (whether it be romantically, or with a friendship). Don't limit your surroundings because of someone who hurt you. LOVE can hurt you if it's fake, but don't let it take who you are. Stand up for what you want, and never give up. 

          

Half Empty or Half Full?

What if I told you that you have the power to change what really happens to you in life? Well its true. I feel that sometimes people fail to realize the power of our own mind and words. Ultimately we control our entire lives, just by the simple thoughts we have everyday. It's all about your perspective- "is the glass half full or half empty?" I know we all have heard that saying just about a million times, but its true. If your in a tough time in life, try to look at your perspective. Instead of looking at it one way, try seeing the situation differently. Don't look at it from the front, but rather from the side view. With moving to college, it's very hard not to be sad to leave my family behind but as soon as my aunt talked to me about the way I've been looking at it,  I've been more joyous. Yes, my life is changing. However, it's changing for the best and it's time to take my own leap into the world and make my family proud. Today I'm beginning to change my perspective, and living better emotionally because of it.

Late Night Snack Thoughts

Hey guys and gals (whoever is reading this), I'm just going to be blunt tonight.  Sometimes it's just good to get your words out and write them for others to see. I've always been told that I can be whoever I want to be and if I got good grades, I would eventually grow up to go to a University and become a successful adult in this world by my parents. I know it's true and that's the path I want to take in life, but currently I've been struggling with emotions. Right now is (and probably has been) the most emotional time in my life ever. I have always been a family girl all of my life, and trust me when I say this, that as I am typing this I am also in tears.  I love my family more than anything in the world and separating for college is probably one of the hardest things I've ever done. You know what else make's me sad? I watched this movie called, "straight outta compton" today and it really showed me how at any given moment we can be told that our body is failing and only have so long to live. My question to all of you reading this post tonight or whenever or wherever you are...would you be ready to end your life where you are today? With everything you have done and accomplished, if God told you that you were going to be sent back up to heaven in a few short months, what would you do? Would you be ready? I don't know why these things are on my mind so late at night, but they really are. Life and death are a scary thing to me, and I think life is rather too short. This is why I want to make sure that the one part of my life I invest the most in is my very own family. They're truly the only one's that never seem to let me down in this broken world. I'm tired of being told I have an attitude because I'm black, or that I don't deserve to have a voice when something racial is said to me and I can't say anything about it. Or how about those people in life who just use you to build their own selfish needs? You see, folks, that is the person I don't want to be. I have been working so hard this summer with molding myself into a new and improved LaNesha. I want to be the friend with confidence, wisdom, and accepting attitude. I'm not who I was just three months ago. I'm fresh and ready to embark on this new adventure, with my family in one hand and dreams in the other...my road maps.

                         

Family Means Everything.

Today was a magnificent day. It was my first day off in over 7 days...and let me tell you, it was more than a gift from above. I slept in, get a new phone, and see the new Fantastic Four movie (if you haven't seen it, you need to seriously consider). I feel like I'm starting to really appreciate the last few moments I'm having with my intermediate family. If anyone truly knows me, they know I am very family-oriented. If I'm not with my friends, I'm always at home spending time with my younger siblings, or even cooking dinner with my mother. I'll always remember watching my six year old sister and 8 month brother growing up so quickly every day before my eyes. When people say, "Family is everything and all you've got", its true. Family is the one thing you can always depend on, no matter what happens (hopefully). So my suggestion to all of my friends and whomever is reading my blog is to get off your phone and spend some time with your family because you never truly know when it will be your last day to love them in this world. I would like to conclude this post in saying I'm more than excited to move out, but I know I'll never forget these last few weeks living with my family. I love you mom, dad, sis, and bro...forever and always.

Who am I and where am I going?

Sometimes I wonder about who I am as a young person in this society. Who is it that I want to be in just 4-5 short years? To be completely honest with you all, I'm still unsure of exactly who I am in this giant world. My life has been changing drastically, and for me to sit here and tell you that I know exactly my plans for the next few years at Madison, or even what I want to pursue as a career afterwards is impossible. I believe that once I get there and situated I'll be able to make a more logical decision on exactly what to pursue. That's one thing about college that I don't like so far: everyone expects you to make up your mind on a major before you even enroll for courses! I mean, come on, we've all been there when grandpa asks you at your grad party... "so darling, what are you majoring in?" Or how about the sigh of disappointment when they find out you chose art or music? Yes. We've all been there. But I think that before we decide what we want to pursue in our future lives, we really need to know who we are and where we fit in society today. Everyone has a different purpose and passion, which makes finding ourselves even more fun. I like to think of the world as a giant puzzle. Everyone has a special shape (piece of the puzzle) that ends up coming together as we all find our own paths. So anyways, I honestly can't wait to see what college offers me, and the things I learn about myself and other people while there. It's an exciting yet nerve wrecking experience that I'm ready to embark on. Just remembering my morals, what I aim for in life, and taking it one step at the time is the path I'm taking. So remember: Just one step at a time. 

                  

Being Thankful for Life

Well folks, for those of you who don't know...today is the day before I head out to Madison for my orientation! I'm feeling more than blessed and excited to start my next life's adventure at such an amazing school. However, as today ends, I'm feeling extremely grateful for all that I have in my life. To be honest, my social groups and people I used to call my friends have shifted as well in my world, and truthfully...I couldn't be any happier. Although it hurt to see the shift happen, I truly believe I'm happier and better off where I am now. Some people are only in our lives for a season! I'm also thankful that I'm a child of God, taking my mistakes, learning from them, and becoming a better me. Goodnight friends!

              

Recognizing Pain and Weakness

Sometimes, people try to hurt us in life. Actually...correction: All the time. However, we have to be able to recognize the pain we receive and do something about it. That's the thing I've been struggling with today in particular. I recognize that I'm hurt and need help, I got help, but I still can't seem to dismiss the cause of it. It's hard to let go of things you once loved. It's like your mind says "stop it and throw it away out of your life," but your heart says, "but there's always hope for a better ending!" Anyways, that's how I'm feeling and I don't know how else to describe that silly word, "love." 

Knowing Myself and Needs

I feel like sometimes we just have to realize what we need individually. There are times in life where we have to be selfish and think what is the best for our own self. For me personally, I have realized that I need to focus on who I am and my destination. By that, I mean- what direction do I want my life to go in and what's going to be my next step? I can tell you right now it's most certainly not with a guy. I feel like realizing that I don't need a guy to be happy has been the biggest obstacle I have overcome this summer. Growing in who I am and realizing my own needs before I'm able to reach out and help other people is most important to me. I like to think of it this way: you can't help broken people if your broken yourself. And with that, here's my selfie (:

        

My Favorite Time of Year (:

The Fourth of July <3 is my ultimate favorite holiday of the entire year. Do you know why? I guess it's just the atmosphere with summer grilling, couples laughing & cuddling together, fireworks going off, and riding in the back seat of dad's car at night with the window rolled down and music blasting. I love this day. It's a day that's also a reminder that this year is half way over, and it gives me a chance to think about all I've done and would like to accomplish for the rest of the year. We all have our favorite holidays, and this one just happens to be mine. Happy Fourth friends! (:

Memories to Shine

Today as I woke up, I began to think of random things (like usual). Actually, I tend to think about memories with special people in my life. But as I was thinking...I started to wonder how life would be if you could chose what memories you wanted to keep and which ones to erase from your brain? I mean, that's why breakups are so hard, right? Because of the memories and fun times you had? Or how about if your friend backstabbed you and now you just want to erase them from your life? This would be amazing if we could erase things from our memories, but then I guess we wouldn't be able to learn from our mistakes and experiences. I feel like that's the best part of life- living and learning. If we were to erase all memories that hurt us, then we wouldn't remember to tell our future self not to do the same thing over again. So Praise The Lord for our memories that save us from future pain! So I guess we're all living and learning together to make a better future for ourselves. I mean, the worst that could possibly happen is that we get to tell our grandchildren what we learned in life? Sounds good to me (: 

Love: Deep in the Well

Have you ever wondered if love is a real thing? Is it something us humans just use to classify a sort of strong feelings towards another being? Or is it a chemical (dopamine) induced feeling that traps us into this cage and is an emotional drag just to get out of? How can one word have so many meanings to it? That's why I enjoy the word love. In Greek, it has many different forms and it's beautiful <3. But what I question is if love is truly real. Of course I know it exists, but does it really? Or is it simply what were "supposed" to do? Love is deep. And I'm not sure I have a handle on it quite yet. 

Fear and Feels

To be truthfully honest, I'm afraid. I'm afraid of the next chapter ahead of me, of failure, of not meeting someone else to walk beside, and being so far away from my family. I always had hope that my ex would come back for me and tell me how much he's sorry and just wants to be there for me. However, I've come to the realization that sometimes the truth is hard to bare, but he's not coming back. No matter how many times my heart stops everytime the doorbell rings in hope it's him (I really wish I could just stop thinking that, but it's hard). And that's what hurts me the most. But as I move on, I'm afraid of what's next. I'm just going to just keep my chin held high and reach for hope and direction in my next chapter of life. My new goal for tomorrow is to write down positive things about myself and make a collage to hang in my dorm room of encouragements. Goodnight World. Thanks for letting me rant to you about how I'm feeling. I love you all.  

Being Happy.

As many of you know, I'm definitely a night owl and it's when I'm alone in my room, just before bed, that I get sparked with ideas. Today as I lay in bed I'm wondering to myself, what am I doing? What are ways I can better improve my own life and be happier? I'll be honest and say that lately I haven't been happy. Always frustrated, upset, sad, disappointed and I'm honestly so done feeling this way. Always counting on someone else to fill that gap for me. However, my goal for the rest of this summer is to find something that truly makes me happy in the present. People change as time go on and the things that once made me happy aren't anymore. It's time for a new day and a new me. Let's be happy today y'all (: 

My Intro

I'm going to just be completely honest and say...I have no clue how to use this blog. However, this is going to be my first post, and I just thought I would introduce myself. My name is LaNesha and I just recently graduated from High School. I've never been the type of person to call just anyone my friend, and I love to love. Speaking of love, is it even a real thing? Or is it simply just our mind being fed with the ridiculous chemical called dopamine that only seems to fool us in the end when someone doesn't love you like they once said (bitter? A Little. But only with good reason) ? I love adventures, exploring the city, star gazing with friends, or even just watching Twilight on late Friday nights. I have college coming up, and it's honestly been the one thing that seems to keep me going. I'll admit, the awk summer transition from High School to College is so strange; To hang with your High School friends only to remember the short limited amount of time you have left with them. College is going to be life changing and that's part of the reason why I created this blog: so I can share with all of you the things I face, and how my mind thinks (of course). Anyways, hopefully that was an okay intro? I hope my journey reaches to others as they, too, begin the next chapter of their own lives.